Some epitaphs

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Final words to shamelessly lift...

Making tombstones

Your tombstone isn't really complete without *some* kind of memorable phrase.  While some stones work just fine with the standard RIP, you can add a lot to the effect with a really good epitaph.

Here are a few...


Effie Jean Robinson
Come blooming youths, as you pass by ,
And on these lines do cast an eye.
As you are now, so once was I;

Prepare for death and follow me.

Here lies Lester Moore.
Four slugs
From a forty-four.
No Les
No More.

Bill Blake
Was hanged by mistake.

Here lays Butch.
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger
But slow on the draw.

Here lies a man named Zeke.
Second fastest draw in Cripple Creek.

He called
Bill Smith
A Liar

Here lies Pa.
Pa liked wimin.
Ma caught Pa in with two swimmin.
Here lies Pa.

Here lies the body
Of Margaret Bent
Kicked up her heels
And away she went.

He got a fish-bone in his throat
and then he sang an angel note.

She was not smart, she was not fair,
But hearts with grief for her are swellin';
All empty stands her little chair:
She died of eatin' water-mellon.

She drank good ale,
good punch and wine
And lived to the age of 99.

Here lie the bones of Joseph Jones
Who ate while he was able.
But once overfed, he dropt down dead
And fell beneath the table.

When from the tomb, to meet his doom,
He arises amidst sinners.
Since he must dwell in heaven or hell,
Take him - whichever gives the best dinners.

In memory of Anna Hopewell
Here lies the body of our Anna
Done to death by a banana
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low
But the skin of the thing that made her go.

Robert Phillip, gravedigger:
Here I lie at the Chancel door;
Here lie I because I am poor;
The farther in the more you pay;
Here I lie as warm as they.

Sir John Strange.
Here lies an honest lawyer.
And that is Strange.

Here lies Johnny Yeast.
Pardon me For not rising.

To the Green Memory of
William Hawkings
Planted Here
With Love and Care

Here lies the body
of John Round.
Lost at sea
and never found.

Beneath his silent stone is laid
A noisy, antiquated maid,
Who from her cradle talked to death,
And never before was out of breath.

Here lies, returned to clay
Miss Arabella Young,
Who on the eleventh day of May
Began to hold her tongue.

Here lies the father of 29.
He would have had more
But he didn't have time.

Owen Moore
Gone away
Owin' more
Than he could pay.

Tears cannot restore her --
therefore I weep.

The children of Israel wanted bread
And the Lord sent them manna;
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
And the devil sent him Anna.

Here beneath this stone we lie
Back to back my wife and I
And when the angels trump shall trill
If she gets up then I'll lie still!

I would
rather be here
than in Texas.

Here lies
an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.

First a Cough
Carried Me Off
Then a Coffin
They Carried Me Off In

Blown upward
out of sight:
He sought the leak
by candlelight

Once I wasn't
Then I was
Now I ain't again.

Ezekiel Pease:
Pease is not here,
Only his pod
He shelled out his Peas
And went to his God

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