Nemo' Dead Fish Toy"
Remember getting rapped in the back of the head
when mom caught you with your arm buried to the elbow in a box of
Quisp, mining for the toy surprise? Ah, youth.
I recently bought a box of Kellogg's
Frosted Flakes to satisfy a curious craving for soggy corn
shavings. Upon opening the box, I realized that it contained a
"Finding Nemo" fish toy. Breakfast memories from
ages past came flooding back and I immediately started
excavating. Utter disappointment best describes my experience
with what passes for a "toy surprise" these days.
having seen the film, I'm not familiar with all the
a gander at the instructions to the right. Now, I
realize that this toy is meant for a child, but come on!
Step 1: Drop toy fish in
Step 2: Toy fish sinks to the bottom.
That's it? Well, if you
look closely, there is more to this marvel. According to
step 1, you hold the fish with your left hand. Step 2
depicts a right hand making threatening gestures at the toy
Apparently, the fish is
intended to rise (somehow, if the arrows mean anything at
all). Perhaps you have to coax the thing back to the
surface, or maybe terrorize it in order to exhibit this behavior.
I decided to try it out and see what happens.
particular fish is bright yellow, and from the front appears
to look more like some kind of surprised muppet than a fish.
I suppose it's cute, in an
insipid sort of way.
my left hand, I dropped the fish into about 5" of cool
my right hand, I began making menacing gestures.
fish didn't exhibit any peculiar behavior. In fact, it
did nothing at all.
all intents and purposes, the fish appears to be dead.
This is a boring fish toy. Even my
cat, who thinks a wad of paper is a blast, wouldn't
touch it. "Dead
fish" is about as exciting a description as I can
come up with.
Oh well, I suppose the
lesson here is to become accustomed to disappointment,
frustration, and regret. Kids shouldn't find that
a problem under manipulation of the marketing genius
that is Disney and Kellog's. The cornflakes, however, were
decided to try gesturing at the fish again in an attempt to
elicit some response.
fish appears to react to a "finger gun" pointed in